Hey buddy can you spare a stock option?

Intel the computer chip maker is back with their shares on fire since they introduced a new computer chocolate chip. A possible spokesperson said they were going to give Famous Amos and Mrs. Field a run for the money with a new chocolate chip. Intel said they chip melts in your computer not in your mouth.

Firestone expects to lose close to $1.7B this year due to the slow economy and they have decided to join forces with the condom maker Magnum and their ad campaign will focus on the 5 year 30,000 mile warranty.

A homeless man finds free money on the sidewalk and buys a bottle of Ripple. The man stated later in the evening, "Hey buddy, you got a cigarette I (vomitting) I can bum?"